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IS THERE AN HEIR IN THE WORKS? WILL BABY MAKE THREE?
Hardly a week ago, the arts media announced that painter Anna Weyant will be solely represented by mega-gallery impresario Larry Gagosian, a bold and exciting move for the talented artist. This life-changing association is a milestone. At age 27, Weyant is the youngest artist to join the famed worldwide stable. Not only can she wield a brush, Weyant is as beautiful as she paints. Last fall, the glitterati clucked a few squawks that Gagosian and Weyant were "stepping out on the town." The coverage was so modest and inconsequential, the eagle-eyed staff at Art Report Today took no note. We merely wrote it off as "hunting and gathering." On the morn of Thursday, May 12, 2022 Artnet News insider and NFT early adopter Kenny Schachter posted his own baby announcement on Instagram. Our hungover correspondent recalls that it read something like "Anna Weyant and Larry Gagosian Announce the Birth of Their Baby." It was illustrated with a silly graphic of a nude baby's diapered-body topped with Larry's adult head. Such an image might be better used as a contraceptive ad. The Gagosian empire may be expecting an heir! That kid will grow up to be the finest artist or the greatest salesman the world has ever seen! An hour later, our foggy correspondent was notified of a reply to Schachter's Instagram posting. Some woke harridan was wagging a finger and harping along the lines of "Kenny, how dare you be so crass with this post! It's a new low!" Our editorial board disagreed; any baby announcement is nothing short of joyful. And yes, the graphic was unappealing, but that doesn’t make it appalling. Besides, in the mad world that we now call civilization, there is no "new low" in our bottomless pit. Not long afterward, steely Schachter took down his post. Is there a baby in the works? Only the gynecologist can tell. We will keep an eye on our mailbox for the fine linen announcement. More pressing, which gallery-stable artist will be tasked with the gender-reveal expose? Jordan Wolfson can rest easy. If any tears are shed, Blum and Poe may need the Kleenex. Those semi-mega gallerists breast-fed young Weyant and nurtured her career with her first solo... And then along came Larry. Our insider surmises that the Blum and Poe cuckolds dumped Weyant's work on the market as they wiped their hands of the misfortune. This fire sale may have caused Gagosian to scramble to elevate the artist's purchase price. David Guido Pietroni writes in Beneath Buddha's Eyes, "Incidentally, Weyant also observed a rapid increase in the market prices of her [sic] works. To Sotheby’s auction in Hong Kong last month, one of Weyant’s works sold for $513,900, more than 10 times its pre-sale estimate." Market share be damned! We always welcome a new baby... especially one who may grow up and advertise on Art Report Today! ___________________________________ SYLVAN FIELDS is an Associate Editor for Art Report Today. They/them disdain pens, pencils, paper and keyboards of any kind.
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